Monday, 31 October 2011

Hallowed Weaning

One of life's most challenging periods is when we realise someone's season in our lives is over. Somehow, the reason we woke up on mornings, is now the reason we can't sleep at nights. We are torn between the memories of the happier times versus the reality of who they have become. Their seeming perfect fit in our world has suddenly become a tight squeeze on our hearts.

As we do the post mortem on the friendship or relationship gone sour we see the signs we ignored and the symptoms we didn't treat. From the breach of confidentiality here, to the act of jealousy there, we chalked up the acts of indiscretion to human nature. Even as patterns of behaviour became habit we discarded them from our memory bank and ignorance prevailed.

Over the past two years, I had the challenge of saying goodbye to some friendships and relationships I coveted for a huge part of my life. What hurt the most is that I did not want to let them go, but had to because I knew where my life goals were headed. Because there was also a difference of opinion on intended paths we could not continue on. I was worried about being seen as feeling I was better than the others, so for years, I sacrificed myself and my spirituality at the expense of acceptance.

The reality is we can ignore that still small voice for so long. One day we open our eyes and come full circle with the people and situations hindering us from who we truly want to be. We know in our heart of hearts if we want better  we must let go of who or what makes us stop. In situations when I was not sure how to proceed, I always leaned on God and asked him that His will be done for my life, and if it was not His will to have that person there anymore, to help take them out of the equation for me.

I do not regret any alliance that I have made in my life even the ones where we parted ways. Some endings were abrupt, some were planned and some were not amicably done, but for every ending there was a new beginning.

My inner circle is now a reflection of who I truly am, and if asked what was the most valuable thing I gained along the way, it would be: the best feeling comes when you realise you are perfectly fine without the people you thought you needed.

2 comments:

  1. I can relate to this...it takes a lot of strength to walk away from a relationship/friendship, but when you do walk away, a few weeks/months/years later, (because it takes some time for you to realise how much better you are) you look back and question why would you allow yourself to be in a toxic situation...but then you realise that you only learn from past mistakes and you become stronger from them

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