Happy New Year! Yes, I know we are in March, but this is my first post for 2012. I have no other excuse for such procrastination other than, I was in fear.
I started a blog 'hot and sweaty' as they say in my native language, but then decided, I could not do it anymore. Is it that I had run out of ideas to write? - No. Is it that it was not making my sexy six followers laugh? - No. Is it that my credit card was maxed out and I could not renew the subscription (considering it is FREE)? - No.
I decided all by myself that I was not good enough. What do I know? Why would people read? Why would they care? Would I possibly get more than 6 followers? Questions that popped into my big head that shot down my little ego.
So three months has passed and my blog has nothing show for itself. And that feeling is worse than not writing at all. But then I complain that I have no platform, am not doing anything to actively generate one. Then I complain that no one knows me and wonder like Alice how will I eventually get my book out?
I owe it to myself to try. I owe it to myself to dare, to dream to believe. Whatever I want out of my life for 2012, and beyond, the effort to achieve it has to be made by me.
Today, my friend looked at me with tears in her eyes as someone told her about trying her hand again at the thing 'she liked to fail". As I listened to her,tears came to my eyes too. I wondered how dare they tell a person with such promise as her such a hurtful thing? They did not have the last say in her life - she did! I thought about getting all Madea on the culprit, but then I stopped and realised I had done the same thing to myself.
From the moment I stopped writing I allowed my mind to tell me I was not good enough. It is okay to fail, what's not cool is not trying again. How will I perfect what I do not practice? How will will I learn if I do not burn?
The pain is not in what our conscience or others says to us. Damage starts when we accept.
I started a blog 'hot and sweaty' as they say in my native language, but then decided, I could not do it anymore. Is it that I had run out of ideas to write? - No. Is it that it was not making my sexy six followers laugh? - No. Is it that my credit card was maxed out and I could not renew the subscription (considering it is FREE)? - No.
I decided all by myself that I was not good enough. What do I know? Why would people read? Why would they care? Would I possibly get more than 6 followers? Questions that popped into my big head that shot down my little ego.
So three months has passed and my blog has nothing show for itself. And that feeling is worse than not writing at all. But then I complain that I have no platform, am not doing anything to actively generate one. Then I complain that no one knows me and wonder like Alice how will I eventually get my book out?
I owe it to myself to try. I owe it to myself to dare, to dream to believe. Whatever I want out of my life for 2012, and beyond, the effort to achieve it has to be made by me.
Today, my friend looked at me with tears in her eyes as someone told her about trying her hand again at the thing 'she liked to fail". As I listened to her,tears came to my eyes too. I wondered how dare they tell a person with such promise as her such a hurtful thing? They did not have the last say in her life - she did! I thought about getting all Madea on the culprit, but then I stopped and realised I had done the same thing to myself.
From the moment I stopped writing I allowed my mind to tell me I was not good enough. It is okay to fail, what's not cool is not trying again. How will I perfect what I do not practice? How will will I learn if I do not burn?
The pain is not in what our conscience or others says to us. Damage starts when we accept.
This is exactly how I am feeling girl. I don’t want to give up. Battles are won and lost in the mind. So we have to guard our minds from the chains that confined us so much.
ReplyDeleteYou are worth it and people want to hear what you have to say. There is a young girl somewhere waiting to hear your voice saying "you can do it” God is using your fingers to write and let people know that they can do it. Thanks for this message girl. It really inspire me.
You are definitely enough, no if buts or maybe. Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed, I try to remind myself why did I start anyway?
ReplyDelete